Tourniquet
by Arlewena
Summary: Previously a song-fic to Evanescence's Tourniquet. One-shot. Dark. Witness Harry's last stand. Non-graphic torture.


**A/N: So yet another one-shot that may grow into more. But for now here it is... It's a little- a lot depressing according to my sister. A little dark I guess. Read and Review!**

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters belong to J.K. Rowling and the song to Evanescence.**_

_**Important Notice! - It has recently been brought to my attention that lyrics are not allowed on this site. A fact that I had missed as I had apparently read the guidelines wrong. This story will remain without the lyrics, but will hopefully be reposted with the lyrics on AO3 under the same username. Thank-you for your understanding**_

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_Recommended listening: Tourniquet by Evanescence _

I tried, really I did. I wanted so bad to change things, to make them better. I just wanted to stop hurting for once in my life.

It was no use; I just ended up causing more. At least I was able to keep him from my friends. When things went south I was at least able to trade my life for their freedom. At least I know this wasn't all for nothing.

I'm dying. I can feel the life draining out of me with every beat of my slowing heart. I regret so much not living every breath to the fullest now that they are numbered. I regret letting others have so much control of my life, now that I have none and yet all. I regret not expressing my feelings towards those who matter, now that they are beyond my reach.

This should not have happened. This would not have happened if I hadn't been so stupid; if I hadn't been so blind; if I had realized sooner. Maybe the betrayal wouldn't have been so agonizing if I had seen it coming. Maybe I could have prevented it. It's too late now…

It seems so surreal to think that this is actually going to be the end. As soon as He lets me finish dying that is. I've prayed to every God I've ever heard of and to any others that may exist. I have begged them to keep my friends, no my family safe. I have begged them to end this madman's reign. Another slash of the knife, more blood rushes forth, and I scream once more through the haze of my thoughts._  
_

Am I too far gone? Can no one save me? Will no-one try? Am I even worth saving?

Someone return me to the beginning. Bring back the innocence we lost along the way. Stop the bleeding, stop the pain. Please! All this in my head, though I scream, I will not beg. I will not let Him reduce me to that.

Do any of my friends wonder what is happening to me? Do they even remember me?

I've been locked here for so long that I've lost track of the months, weeks, days… I've lost count of the times I have been tortured.

Will I see those who I have lost? Will they recognize me? Will they know who I am? Will they know what they meant to me?

Is it over yet? This is agony. The constant cycle. Torture. Pain. Betrayal. Fear. Screams. Blood. Despair. Hope. Black. Red. Green. Where is the white? The light to end it all? I pray for it to come for me quickly. I have no more purpose except to die, and not let Him break me completely.

Maybe it was all a fool's dream. There is no one who can save me. There has never been. I am too broken, too independent, too hidden. Maybe I should just let go… stop fighting for every breath… just let my heart stop, and fade out… NO! I _will not _let Him win. I will fight with every fiber of my being to continue living, to continue to defy him, even if it is just out of spite. He is the source of the pain, all of it.

I sometimes wish I had never been born. It might have been better for everyone if I hadn't. Maybe things would have turned out differently. Another flash of red tainted silver, and again I am praying for a way out, and the removal of this madman from the world.

Someone please save me! At least end this agony… Wait! He left, is he gone?

No he's back, but with his wand this time… Wait! Not this again! I can't take this! Not now! He's going to-

Screaming, someone's screaming… Who are they? I need to help them, the screams are so loud. Everything is veiled in a red haze… Through the pain and the tears, suddenly I realize that it is me who is screaming. Strange, I have never known my voice could reach that volume or that octave. He is so close, so close to finally breaking me. He knows it; I can hear Him laugh as He Crucios me yet again.

He laughs at me… mocks me… when my thoughts finally clear enough for me to understand his words, I wish I couldn't. He expounds upon my foolishness, says that I could have prevented this all if I had just joined him. Mocking laughter fills the room as he reveals that I have made the same mistake as my parents, describes in detail the mistake I made in trusting them – I trusted the wrong people, and just like my parents he says, it is going to get me killed.

Everything hurts. Nothing is real anymore but the pain, always the pain. I have gotten my wish; I can no longer hear His words, His laughter over the pain. I can no longer look upon the visages of those I called friend through the red haze that now clouds my vision. It won't be long now… my body is broken, perhaps beyond repair. I can feel myself fading fast. I am almost glad.

I spare a passing thought to wish that this wasn't how it ended. It feels too much like surrender to me, I feel as if I'm letting Him win. And suddenly I know that I can't do that. Every part of my being cries out my last request, unites in desire of this one thing.

Everything is still for a moment, and I fear that my plea has gone unanswered.

But then I feel it, magic in its purest form floods my senses – entrenches itself throughout the room. I send up another prayer in thanks, though I have no idea what is going to happen. What purpose the magic has come to fulfill.

Suddenly the room comes back into focus. I can think, see, hear, and feel through the pain. I can sense the magic as it places itself at my disposal, ready to fulfill my will. I catch a glint of silver to my right. A desperate plan forms. He has yet to notice anything amiss, the magic hidden from his senses.

He doesn't notice until too late. I use the magic to support me as I grab the knife and lunge. They have long since stopped restraining me, deeming me too weak to fight back. I plunge the knife into his heart, feeling my face grin darkly in satisfaction at the look of terror that graces his expression as I drive the knife in. I call upon the magic to sever his ties to his Horcruxes, to leave them inert and harmless, and ensure he dies a final death. I can feel when it is done as the connection in my scar goes suddenly silent, and his body falls limply aside.

It is done. The Bastard is dead and never coming back. I will not be long in following him. I collapse to the ground by his body. I can feel myself slipping away. It will not be long now, I'm ready.

My vision slowly fades back out, but to black this time. Cool, refreshing black. I surrender myself willingly to the abyss…

_"Harry!"_


End file.
